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The State That We Are In

by Rachel Garlin

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1.
I got stuck somewhere in between Freaking out and going numb from the spin machine I’ve been reeling from the backlash Of our crash course in chagrin, oh and I am struck by the state that we’re in Some fiascos are better seen from the sky A man has a plan to build a canal Then the railroad whizzes by And we’re watching out for whiskey While he’s pouring out the gin, oh and I am struck by the state that we’re in I’m not saying there’s an answer to the riddle I’m not saying that the truth is in our reach But when I wake up to the skies Burning red before sunrise I know the wildfires got very little sleep There’s no glut on the postcards that we write Simply put we’re all under The same big satellite And there’s pressure on the middle And suppression in the wind, oh but We’re not stuck with the state that we are in We’re not tired, we’re not despairing, not resigned We’re not counting on the roof to fix the leak We’re mixing districts re-defined We’re ditching zig-zag-zip code lines And we are, we are, we are, we are gonna speak It’s time to get a trip and strip the poison from the soil Dispense with it or drench it in palmarosa oil There’s a drought, but there’s a river With a mouth where we can swim, oh and We’re not stuck with the state that we are in We’re not stuck with the state that we are in
2.
Standing on the dock Looking at your eyes Trying to see the friend That I almost made in ninth grade I really want to stare Repair you like Jerusalem And see you in the high school dark room Where we developed our film You were always cool Somebody’s desire I was on the side A latent wildfire A patient wildflower Late to bloom Now in your canoe Slender bones and sinew An orthopedic surgeon Your wife had to discontinue Her prestigious law career Trying guys for homicide A mother must decide How much litigiousness will bring her You were always cool Somebody’s desire I was on the side A latent wildfire A patient wildflower Late to bloom It wasn’t something I could muster Oh no The confidence to say hello It wasn’t something I could bluster through With nonchalance As if I wasn’t wasn’t wasn’t Loving you You You were always cool Somebody’s desire I was on the side, a latent wildfire A patient wildflower Late to bloom A patient wildflower Late to bloom
3.
She’s scattered in her sadness lately She moves a box of matches daily The lemon tree is turning lazy Some weights are hard to bear She keeps a jar of glycerin out back Chops the wood and kindling, hands chapped Whispers into daylight, I’m cracked Some weights are hard to bear She washes all the linens Hangs them up in rows Tries to shake the image of when The garden sundial froze It couldn’t be a year now, too long It was just a summer day gone wrong The musket is a long gun, so long Some weights are hard to bear She’s scattered in her sadness lately She moves a box of ashes daily The lemon fire is burning hazy Some weights are hard to bear
4.
Seashells 02:18
Ten o’clock and nobody’s sleeping At the edge of the bed Thunder cloud and the sky is weeping Dripping into my head And I don’t know, I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know, I don’t know why I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why When you scramble up boulders You loosen the rebel below Flying rocks become stardust Or pebbles in somebody’s shoe, oh And I don’t know, I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know, I don’t know why I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why Look at the girl on the rock She is standing in front of the sea She took a piece of lace from a box And sewed it onto a T-shirt I’m a sucker for seashells I tuck 'em in under my hand Put a clam in my pocket I’m tumbling over the sand And I don’t know, I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know, I don’t know why I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why Look at the girl with the abalone Inside of her sleeve She turned a broken muscle shell Into a skeleton key And I don’t know, I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know, I don’t know why I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why
5.
Layla 03:01

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released June 25, 2021

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Rachel Garlin San Francisco, California

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